Our Guys' Covenant of Purity Guardrails

I, along with a group of guys, decided that we were tired of the sexual sin in our lives and were going to do something about it. Inspired by Andy Stanley's excellent sermon series called Guardrails, we developed a set of purity guardrails for ourselves and our dating relationships. (This is in addition to meeting together weekly to talk openly about some pretty heavy issues -- porn, purity, sex, temptation, etc.) This is a copy of the guardrails that we all came up with and all agreed to. I'm not saying that everybody should follow these or even that the Bible says this is the only way to deal with sexual sin. It's just a set of guidelines that one group of guys decided was right for themselves at one particular point in time.

Our Covenant of Purity Guardrails

God, it is Your desire that we be holy and avoid all sexual immorality (1 Thes. 4:3). Let that be our desire as well. Let us honor You with our bodies and flee sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18-20). We don’t want to follow the desires of our sinful nature (Gal. 5:16) but instead claim our freedom from sin in Christ (Rom. 6:18).

With all of this is mind, we make this covenant before You and our brothers in Christ to observe the following guardrails as matters of personal conscience to resist sexual sin.

Our Values

  • Purity
  • Honesty
  • Confession
  • Forgiveness

Our Personal Guardrails

  1. No internet, movies, or TV during “high-risk” times, such as being alone, after 9pm, or behind closed doors.
  2. No media (movies, TV, music, video games) that features sexual content or suggestive dialogue. This includes (but is not limited to) all R-rated movies, TV-MA shows, M-rated video games, and Parental Advisory-labeled music.
  3. Use X3watch accountability software on all internet-connected devices (computers, phones, tablets, etc.) and not take any measures to bypass it.
  4. Pay attention what we look at and how long we look at it, such as pictures of girls on Facebook, girls wearing revealing clothing, daydreaming, etc.
  5. Avoid excess, over-indulgence, or over-consumption in all areas of life, including activities like eating, sleeping, gaming, etc.
  6. Contact our accountability partner at least once each weekend to check in.

Our Dating Relationship Guardrails

  1. No time spent together during “high-risk” times, such as being alone, after 9pm, or behind closed doors.
  2. No talking or texting after 10pm.
  3. Physical affection is limited to what we would do with a sister or cousin. For example, no prolonged kissing or making out, sexual touching, etc.

When We Mess Up

When we break through one of our guardrails, we will confess to God and our accountability partner within 24 hours but preferably as soon as possible.

When We Want an Exception

For special circumstances, our accountability partner can grant a temporary exception to any of these guardrails if we ask ahead of time.