Novembering: Grief without Answers (2022)

One of the most painful aspects of death is that it gives no answers. Why them? Why now? But what if God's Word has some answers to our grief? Psalm 88, one of the saddest psalms in the Bible, can offer some hope if we know where to look.

Transcript

One of the most painful aspects of death is that it gives no answers. Why them? Why now? Everyone who loses someone they love asks those questions at some point. They hang over you, and you can’t escape them.

Did you know that the Bible asks those same questions? They’re called lament psalms, or even complaint psalms, because they are complaints to God. Did you know you could complain to God? In fact, more than a third of the 150 psalms are lament.

Psalm 88

I’d like to share with you selections from Psalm 88, one of the most poignant lament psalms in all of Scripture. The author doesn’t hold back. He’s brutally honest. It’s considered by many to be the saddest Psalm in the Bible.

“O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out to you by day. I come to you at night. Now hear my prayer; listen to my cry. For my life is full of troubles, and death draws near…I am forgotten, cut off from your care. You have thrown me into the lowest pit, into the darkest depths… My eyes are blinded by my tears. Each day I beg for your help, O Lord; I lift my hands to you for mercy…O Lord, I cry out to you. I will keep on pleading day by day. O Lord, why do you reject me? Why do you turn your face from me? I have been sick and close to death since my youth. I stand helpless and desperate before your terrors. Your fierce anger has overwhelmed me. Your terrors have paralyzed me. They swirl around me like floodwaters all day long. They have engulfed me completely. You have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend.”

Have you ever felt like that? You don’t even need death to sink that low. Sickness, depression, hopelessness.

Why is this in the Bible? How is this a statement of faith in God? It sounds more like an argument against God. But it actually reaffirms faith in God in 2 ways.

1. Who You Complain To Shows Who You Think Can Help You

First, who you complain to shows who you think can help you. Think about that for a second. You only complain to someone if you think they can help you—to comfort you, to agree with you, to say you’re not crazy. That’s why we turn to our friends.

So, if you’re complaining to God, that’s actually a good thing. If you turn to God in your grief or your anger, you’re actually affirming his existence and his power.

It’s when you turn away from God to complain, when you cut yourself off from Him – that’s when you’re in trouble. You’re admitting that you don’t really believe he can comfort you or that he’s powerful enough to change your circumstances.

Look how the psalmist anchors his complaint in God. He begins with: “O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out to you by day. I come to you at night. Now hear my prayer; listen to my cry.”

Then he repeats himself in verses 9 and 13, “Each day I beg for your help, O LORD; I lift my hands to you for mercy… O Lord, I cry out to you. I will keep on pleading day by day.”

This psalm is remarkably God-centered. In fact, he refers to God 35 times in 18 verses. He only refers to himself 23 times. That’s 50% more God than me. Is that what your grief, sorrow, or anger looks like?

Remember, who you complain to shows who you think can help you.

2. Complaint to God is worship of God

The Ssecond idea is an extension of the first. If you are complaining to God, you are affirming that you believe he can comfort you or he can do something about your pain. In theological terms, that means you are affirming that he is personal & loving (comforts you) or that he is sovereign (i.e. that he is in control).

Do you what the bible calls it when we affirm the character and nature of God? Worship. So… Complaint to God is worship of God.

And that’s the purpose of a service like this. To help all of us center our complaint—our grief and sorrow and anger—to God. Let us worship God together in our tears, in our memories, in our regrets, and, yes, even in our anger.

Jesus in Our Darkness

One of the most painful aspects of death is that it gives no explanations, no answers. Neither does this psalm. Most lament psalms end with an affirmation of God’s divinity, power, sovereignty, or goodness. But not this one. This ends with the ominous line, “Darkness is my closest friend.”

This psalm offers no answer to the pain of grief, to the heartache, to the darkness… But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an answer.

Jesus is the ultimate answer to this entire psalm. This is what He meant when he says that all the Law and Prophets are fulfilled in him.

Every line is answered by Jesus.

• “I am forgotten” – Jesus remembers your name in the Book of Life

• ‘Cut off from your care” – On the cross, Jesus was cut off from the Father so that you would never have to be.

• “You have thrown me into the lowest pit” – Jesus descended into the pit.

• “My eyes are blinded by my tears” – Jesus healed the blind.

• “I beg for your help” – Jesus lifted up the beggar.

• “I have been sick and close to death” – Jesus healed the sick.

• “I stand helpless before your terrors” – Jesus intercedes on our behalf.

• “Your fierce anger has overwhelmed me” – Jesus took on God’s anger so that we don’t have to.

• “Your terrors paralyze me” – Jesus healed the paralyzed.

• “They swirl around me like floodwaters” – Jesus calms the storm.

• “They have engulfed me completely” – Jesus reaches out his hand to keep us from drowning.

• “You have taken away my companions” – Jesus is a friend, closer than a brother.

• “Darkness is my closest friend” – Jesus Christ is the light of the world.

Jesus is the answer to grief’s unanswered questions. Jesus is your hope and salvation in times of grief. Turn to him, stay close to him. Complain to him. Worship him.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”