How should a Christian view LGBTQ issues?

[Our #1 voted topic] LGBT issues are all around us, and the Christian response seems to be getting more and more polarized. Is there another option beyond the angry, judgmental right and the permissive, anything-goes left? We sure hope so.

Transcript

INTRO

How should a Christian view LGBTQ issues?

I’ve preached on LGBTQ issues two other times in my ministry career. In 2011 and 2016. But today, I want to preach on it differently.

But not because my theology has changed. I still believe the biblical conclusions I made back then. But our world has changed, evangelical Christianity has changed, and the lived experiences of gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer people have changed.

But more importantly, I’ve changed. And how I want to live out my faith has changed.

So, this sermon is going to be a little different. I’m not going to go through passages in the Bible about homosexuality. But I will go on record saying that I still hold to a theologically traditional view of marriage, sex, and gender. I just want to think and talk about it differently. I should also warn you that I’m going to go a little longer today. I hope the additional content is worth your time.

Before I dive in, I want to say this. I hope that none of you feel like you have to do, think, or believe the same I do simply because I’m the pastor. LGBTQ issues are complex and, for some of you, deeply personal. They represent your family members, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. There are no simple answers here.

CHRISTIANS AND THE CULTURE WAR

I want to talk about LGBTQ issues differently than I did 7 or 12 years ago. Why?

Because I am done with the culture war. I’m sick of Christian outrage and jerks for Jesus. I’m sick of evangelical hypocrisy. And I am sick of Christians attacking, well, everything.

Let me explain the culture war for those who aren’t familiar with it.

Have you ever heard phrases like:

• We’re fighting for the soul of our country.

• We’re in a war of values.

• We must defend the traditional family.

Those are examples of culture-war Christianity. It’s us-vs-them thinking, usually centered around morality and hot-button issues, like pop culture, abortion, race, gender, and sexuality. And it often comes across as very self-righteousness.

Culture warring has been part of white conservative evangelical Protestants for the last 100 years, but it really went mainstream in the 80s. Politicians, pastors, and televangelists were all railing against anything they saw as a threat to the Christian fabric of society.

• In the 80s, it was MTV, “family values,” Dungeons & Dragons, AIDS, and abortion.

• In the 90s, it was Pokémon, rap music, “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas,” and the “gay agenda.”

• In the 2000s, it was Harry Potter, postmodernism, stem cells, and same-sex marriage.

• In the 2010s, it was video game violence, worship music, the Hollywood elite, and LGBT rights.

• And lately, it’s race, gender, CRT, drag queen story hour, immigration, and abortion.

THE FAILURE OF THE CULTURE WAR

Christians have been waging a culture war for 50 years, and one thing is clear.

Christians have lost the culture war.

There is not a single social issue that evangelicals have “won.” Everything I mentioned, and more, has been widely accepted or, at least, moved more progressive. Christians have lost the culture war.

Fifty years of angry rhetoric, blaming others, doomsday predictions, fearmongering, and demonizing the other. And it hasn’t made America any better. It’s just made Christians worse. That is the rotten fruit of the evangelical culture war.

And in the last 5 years, we’ve finally seen just how rotten some parts of evangelical Christianity really are.

• Widespread power and abuse scandals, with thousands of victims, mostly women.

• The vicious backlash that people like Lecrae, Beth Moore, Jamar Tisby, and Russel Moore received from their own Reformed crowd because they spoke out on race and sexual abuse.

• Almost cultish support for the most criminally indicted president in U.S. history.

• The significant Christian presence in the Jan. 6 insurrection, praying on the Senate floor, while trashing the building, injuring police, and threatening lives.

Racism, sexism, prejudice, violence, hypocrisy—all have come to light.

I am done with the culture war and every weapon of war used by those who practice it.

So, what’s the alternative?

THE CHRISTIAN TENSION BETWEEN TRUTH AND LOVE

The Christian life has a tension between truth and love.

The Old Testament describes it as hesed (“mercy” or “lovingkindness”) and emet (“truth” or “faithfulness”). These words show up in hundreds of verses. Here are just a couple of examples:

• Exodus 34:6 – The Lord is abounding in love and faithfulness.

• Psalm 85:10 – In God, love and truth meet together.

The New Testament describes it as the tension between truth and love or truth and grace.

• John 1:14,17 – Jesus came full of grace and truth.

• Ephesians 4:15 – Speak the truth in love.

• 2 John 3 – God is with us in truth and love.

THE CULTURE WAR’S ONE-SIDED ANSWER TO TRUTH AND LOVE

Truth and love. In God, they seem to co-exist fully and perfectly together. In humans… ehhh, not so much. And here’s where the problem comes in.

A culture war approach to Christianity is based exclusively on a fight for truth. The foundational assumption is that you win the war or take back the country by proclaiming, defending, and arguing God’s truth.

• Abortion? Psalm 139 – fearfully and wonderfully made.

• Gay marriage? Genesis 1 & 2 – Adam and Eve.

• Drag Queens? Deuteronomy 22 – No cross-dressing.

• War in the Middle East? Genesis 9 – Unconditional support for Israel.

• CRT? Galatians 2 – Neither Jew nor Greek.

• Immigration? Romans 13 – Obey authorities.

The unspoken assumption of the culture war is that you fight exclusively with God’s truth. And the louder and angrier you are, apparently, the more devoted you are to God and his truth.

I have never, ever, ever heard a Christian argue that the culture war is fought with love. The core foundation of a culture war mentality is entirely one-sided. It’s all about truth.

Sure, love gets lip service: “Hate the sin; love the sinner.” But, let’s be honest, Christians seem to do a much better job hating than loving. At best, it’s shouting, “hate the sin” and whispering, “love the sinner.” At worst, as we’ve seen with all the recent scandals, it seems the reverse, “love the sin; hate the sinner.”

AN ALTERNATIVE – LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR

I am done with the culture war. And I reject the premise that we will “win back” this country by fighting for truth. Instead, I want to live my faith from a foundation of loving other people.

• What would it look like to think about social issues through the lens of loving people?

• What would be the most loving way to think about gender pronouns or abortion?

• Could you vote motivated by love? Christians say, “Vote your values.” But what if your value is to demonstrate an abundance of love?

• What if you looked at the Israel-Palestine conflict in terms of love for people, rather than political affiliation or your understanding of an Old Testament covenant?

I want to make loving people the primary lens through which I look at life. Considering that Jesus said that loving people was the second greatest commandment, I think that’s a pretty good choice.

35 One of [the Pharisees], an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

What is the most important biblical truth among all the other biblical truths?

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40)

All the other biblical truths hang on loving your neighbor. Let me tell you about that little verb “hang.” In Greek, it means “to be dependent on.” And it carries the image of a nail on which you might hang a picture.

You’ve all probably hung a picture before. If you use a small nail or, worse, remove the nail… Without that nail, that picture crashes to the ground. It has nothing to support it.

That means that every one of your opinions based on Scripture, every biblical stand you take on Facebook, every vote you cast, is wholly dependent on how well you love your neighbor. And if you don’t love your neighbor well, then your opinion, even if it’s biblically true, falls to the ground.

What does this mean for LGBT?

• Your belief about gay marriage utterly depends… on how well you love your neighbor.

• Your stance on gender fluidity hangs for dear life… on how well you love your neighbor.

• Your opinion on trans athletes is completely reliant… on how well you love your neighbor.

If you truly want to live like Jesus’ second most important commandment is your second most important commandment, you have to lead with loving your neighbor, not fighting for truth.

OBJECTIONS

Before I apply this principle to some of the LGBTQ issues of the day, let me address three common objections you might hear from Christians or even wonder yourself.

1. The Bible commands us to defend our faith.

Ehhh. No it actually doesn’t. Paul writes about defending the faith. He even includes it as a requirement for church leadership. But he never commands it. Even the famous passage in 1 Peter 3:15 that we should “always be prepared to give an answer,” doesn’t command proactively defending our faith. It actually says to “give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” And it says to do so with “gentleness and respect.” Not exactly the posture of culture warriors.

2. The most loving thing I could do for someone is to call them to repent of their sin to avoid an eternity in hell.

Do you know the first time I heard an “ends-justify-the-means” argument like that? It was back in the 80s when a Christian bombed an abortion clinic. The same excuse has been made by Christians yelling at people in protests or breaking into the Capitol Building. This excuse says, “I can be a jerk, I can be hateful and even violent if it gets someone to repent.” For a believer, means is just as important as the ends. When one’s immoral, it’s all immoral.

3. If I participate in something, it means I’m endorsing their sin or compromising my beliefs.

No, that’s just not true. Let me give you a few examples.

“If I attend a wedding of a gay couple, I’m endorsing gay marriage.” No, you’re not. It means you’re supporting two people at an important moment in their life. Do you leave a wedding the moment people start getting drunk? If not, you’re endorsing drunkenness. Do you agree with the sexual morality of every couple whose wedding you attend? No, that would be ridiculous. Nobody makes all their decisions like that.

Or this one. “I refuse to use someone’s alternative pronouns because I do not support transgender.” Again, that’s ridiculous. If you believe that a married woman should take her husband’s last name, and you meet someone who doesn’t, would you refuse to call them by their given name because you disagree with their decision? No, that would be ridiculous.

Have you ever noticed how Christians are very selective about when they use this excuse? It is inconsistent at best and hypocritical at worst.

These are all just excuses NOT to love your neighbor. But, according to the second most important commandment, none of them can stand if you don’t already love your neighbor.

APPLICATIONS

Now, let’s apply this principle to LGBTQ scenarios. What would it look like to look at issues through a lens of “What is the best way I could love my neighbor?”

I believe this is critical because most of the hatred, prejudice, and violence LGBTQ community experiences is at the hands of Christians. Remember the parable of the good Samaritan? When it comes to people who are gay, bi, trans, queer, or non-binary, why is it that Christians act much more like the ones who robbed and beat up the traveler than the one who had compassion on him?

We MUST have a different way. In the tension between love and truth, what would it look like to make decisions or form opinions based on loving your neighbor?

Here’s how I would choose to respond to 10 different scenarios.

1. You’re invited to a wedding of a same-sex couple. Make the decision just as you would for a hetero couple. A wedding is a time to show love and support, not make a stand for truth or turn it into a morality battle.

2. You’re asked to use someone’s preferred pronouns. Do it. This is a simple act of loving your neighbor. A name is a deeply personal thing. Many of you grew up with names that were difficult for teachers and classmates to pronounce. And you’ve felt the pain of someone not caring to learn your preferred name.

3. A queer person attends RiverLife. Great! I would welcome them. If we did a morality check for attendance, none of y’all would be here… and neither would I. Also, I would expect that they would experience nothing but warmth and hospitality here.

4. What about trans athletes? Now, this one’s interesting. I want to love a trans woman and give her space to compete, but to do so is often unfair and unloving to her female teammates. I don’t know… but I lean toward loving the teammates and coming up with some alternative form of inclusion for the trans athlete.

5. Your child is assigned a book you disagree with. All the more reason to read it. As Christians, we need a lot more exposure to the stories of the LGBTQ community. Exclusion and echo chambers only breed fear, ignorance, and prejudice.

6. The St. Paul Public Library hosts drag queen storytime. If you don’t like it, don’t go. Boycott the library if you want. But it’s very unloving for you to demand that others live by your religious convictions.

7. Someone says to you, “Being gay is a sin, and they’re going to hell.” Being gay doesn’t send you to hell any more than being straight sends you to heaven. If you’ve made an idol out of your sexuality—gay or straight—then you’ve rejected Jesus as your Lord, and then you’re going to hell.

8. A friend comes out to you. Be truly honored that they would trust you enough to share that with you. Manage your own anxiety, and just listen. That’s the most loving thing you can do at that moment.

9. A child says they identify as a different gender. I have no idea. I’m sorry. I don’t have kids, and I’m not about to tell a parent how to love their child best. But that’s what you have to do in that moment—love them. Go slowly. Don’t say or do anything rash. Love them. And find someone way smarter than me, like my wife.

10. Lastly, your language matters. It shows respect or disrespect.

• Never make a joke at the expense of someone who is gay, trans, queer, or non-binary. They are not our punchline.

• Don’t mock pronouns.

• Don’t put quotation marks around gay “marriage.” It’s a legal marriage; get over it.

• Learn the important terminology of the LGBTQ community.

CLOSING

Jesus said that the second most important part of being HIS follower is that we love our neighbor. Everything else you believe—about sexuality, marriage, gender—completely depends on loving your neighbor.

How did we get this so wrong for our gay neighbor? Our queer neighbor?

Since when has judgment and condemnation ever brought people closer to Christ? As Rob Reimer says, “You can’t use the tools of the kingdom of darkness to advance the kingdom of light.”

You can take morality stands, or you can love people. It’s impossible to do both.

So, I choose to love people. Will I make mistakes? Of course. Will I miss opportunities to speak truth into people’s lives? I’m sure I will.

But to paraphrase the late Billy Graham: I’m gonna let the Holy Spirit convict and God judge. I’m going to err on the side of love.

And I hope you do too.